Bittersweet Heroine (Red Light Ladies Book 3) Read online

  “I understand,” she said, sitting on one of the two empty beds in my room. I watched her cross one of her long legs over the other, as she leaned back on her hands and spoke. “I used to be just like you when I first started. Kerstan would do the same thing to me; if I made a friend he would immediately find a way to send them off or get rid of them. If I worked hard for him and kept my thoughts to myself, he would give me days where I wouldn’t have to go out. I’d get to stay with him and please him at his whim. This Luuk that I’ve heard of? I can tell this is something personal and I don’t think I like the way this will end, so I came to help you get out of here. I can get you back to Kerstan and then you’ll have to figure out the rest from there.”

  I raised an eyebrow at Kerstan’s name. Actually it was more at the mention of how Kerstan had treated Valentina. Almost exactly like me.

  “So, is that something he does with all of his best girls?” I asked, trying to mask the disappointment in my voice.

  Before she could answer, Ilse ran into my room and looked at me, her eyes wide with excitement.

  “Lieve, you have to come with me! Now!” she said holding out a hand to me.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, moving forward and taking her hand.

  “Kerstan has just arrived,” she whispered excitedly.

  What? Why is he here?

  I let my curiosity make my hand close around hers tightly as we left the room. Ilse told me that he was in the main room with Luuk and that they were talking angrily with one another.

  “Over what?” I asked.

  “You.”

  Six

  Kerstan

  I sat facing Luuk with one hand on the table and the other draped over the back of the chair. Something about seeing Danique again reminded me how much I wanted Lieve back and I didn’t plan on leaving without her. I knew this would be difficult and I knew that Luuk wanted his pound of flesh, but I decided that he would have to take it from me and not her.

  “I won’t give her back to you. You knew the deal from the very beginning. You train her to be the whore that I knew she’s been her entire life, then you give her to me for her final humiliations,” Luuk said simply.

  I wondered what he truly had against Lieve. He never did tell me the whole story because I was so intrigued by the fucking plan he had that it never dawned on me to ask more questions than I already had. My eyes wandered toward the ceiling as Luuk kept giving me his reasons that Lieve was now “property” and I tuned him out. Besides the fact that I wasn’t listening to his nonsense anymore, I concentrated on the door behind me. I heard faint footsteps stop just behind it and whispers that went silent as soon as they approached.

  I wondered if it was her. I wondered if Danique had made it here safely. I wondered what about Lieve had drawn her back into this and I wondered if Luuk could tell she had a motive. Then I chuckled as the whispers started again softly.

  “Do you not have control over your own home?” I finally asked, cutting off his incessant rambling.

  “What are you talking about?” he asked curiously.

  I smirked at him and shook my head as I got to my feet and walked to the door. I put my hand on the doorknob once I reached it and slowly tilted my hand to look through the sliver of space between the door and the frame. Once I confirmed my suspicions, I pulled the door wide open and watched as three women fell on top of each other. Each had a black leather collar around her neck and had on white panties only.

  Blonde, brunette, and a fading color. Let’s see if I can sort them out.

  I gripped the blonde first by the arm and pulled her to her feet. She gave me a big half grin and I shook my head, laughing as I positioned her next to me.

  “You were always too curious for your own good, Danique,” I said.

  “And it’s always gotten me what I wanted, hasn’t it?” she asked her grin widening.

  “Yes. It has.”

  I leaned down and reached for the small brunette girl and pulled her too up by her arm. I looked up her up and down carefully as she kept her eyes to the floor.

  “Very nice,” I said with an approving nod. “Your name?”

  “Ilse,” she replied softly.

  “Give her here; you have enough,” Danique said pulling her out of my grip. I rolled my eyes and let the girl go. She was beautiful and would probably make me a great sum of money, but it was true. I had more than enough whores and wealth than I knew what to do with these days.

  “Up you go,” I said to the last girl, securing her arm in my hand. She hesitated for a moment, turning her face away from me, before she let me pull her up unsteadily to her feet. “Look at me, Lieve,” I whispered softly. I knew it was her by the profile of her face and the curves of her body, now that I could fully see it.

  She shook her head and tried to pull out of my grip, but I held on, made my way around her, and stopped when I was facing her. She turned her face again so I couldn’t see her face. I put my hands on her arms letting her use hers to cover herself with, and felt a single tear drop land on me. Her body shook as she struggled to keep her eyes away from my face, but I knew Lieve well enough to know it wasn’t from fear. She shook as hard as she did and cried her quiet tears because she was furious with me.

  “Take her and wait by the door,” I said to Danique. She nodded and took Lieve from my arms, as well as Ilse from my side and turned to leave the door when a glass flew passed my head and shattered on the wall. “Is he always this childish?” I asked Ilse, who darted her eyes nervously toward Luuk.

  Danique pushed Ilse out of the room and closed the door behind her. I raised an eyebrow as she quickly began to pick up the shards of broken glass before taking them to the table and dropping them on an empty plate. She sat down in the chair I had been in when I was attempting to negotiate Lieve’s freedom with Luuk and spoke.

  “I know I asked for one month with the American, but I’ve got a better deal for you. I’ll stay here as long as you want, work as many hours a day as you want, fuck as many men and women as you tell me to, if you let her go now. This will be the debt I told you I would owe you,” she said conversationally.

  Luuk, the angry boy House Master, leaned forward to look Danique directly in the face. His eyes were so stern and evil, but she didn’t falter. Not when he told her no, not when he demanded she leave his house, and not even when he grabbed a shard of the glass and made a terrible gash along the side of her beautiful face for her defiance.

  Seven

  Amity

  Holy shit!

  I moved away from Kerstan’s side and went over to Danique who was still sitting across from Smith. She had calmly taken a cloth napkin from the table and placed it against her cheek. Her heaving shoulders told me that she was in pain and when I reached her, she looked up at me with glossy eyes and a small smile.

  “Have you lost your fucking mind?” Kerstan shouted.

  Smith got to his feet, dropped the bloodied piece of glass on top of the table, and looked at Danique.

  “You have a new face courtesy of your new friend,” he said with a smirk as he walked toward the door.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said, my voice cracking. She held up her hand for a moment, then waved it quickly to let me know she had already forgiven me. Danique, a woman I had never met before today, had already forgiven me and I couldn’t even forgive myself.

  “Help me,” I begged Kerstan desperately. He came over quickly and pulled the napkin away to see her face. Oh God. I had to turn away. Not because it was a deep cut, but because I knew it would leave a terrible scar and it didn’t have to happen.

  “Can you walk?” Kerstan asked her. She closed her eyes tightly for a moment, before she nodded and pushed herself to her feet. At first she was a bit unsteady, but Kerstan gripped her tightly so she wouldn’t waiver any more.

  “I can’t do this anymore,” I said more to myself. I sank to the floor and choked back my tears. I couldn’t live this life anymore. I couldn’t live the life that caused p
eople around me to get hurt because of a young man’s boyish tantrums. If I hadn’t fucked up my life with Theo none of this would have ever happened.

  “I need you to help me get her out of here, Amity. We have to take her back home so the grandmothers can tend to her,” Kerstan said, leaning down to pull me up off of the floor.

  I didn’t realize how strong he really was until that moment. And with the way he held her against him and did his best to make sure I was okay too, almost made him seem human. But I knew this would come with a price too. There would only be one way to end this entire charade once and for all and getting to where I needed to be to end it would be damn near impossible.

  I took ahold of myself, calming my emotions. I wasn’t sad anymore and I wasn’t desperate either. I felt what I was feeling in Camogli after I had surfaced from seeing the Christ of the Abyss statue. I felt what I was feeling when I woke up in a strange house with a strange man and had to fight to stay alive. I felt like Amity Crane; not playful, somewhat bitchy Amity. No, I was the real Amity. Determined, strong, and a fighter.

  I was going to show Smith why Theo had fallen in love with me. I was going to make him understand the parts of me he had never seen before and I was going to make him understand what it was like to survive; truly survive like the villa in Italy had taught me to do.

  I pulled myself away from Kerstan, “Take Valentina outside. Get her in your car and take her back to your place. I’ll be behind you soon.”

  “Not without you,” he said firmly, shaking his head.

  “I promise, Kerstan. I’ll find my way back to you. There’s something I have to do.”

  He looked into my eyes curiously. I’m sure he expected me to tell him my plan, but I still had to work on it.

  It would probably take days, weeks, or maybe even a few months, but I would accomplish what I needed to do and I would finally be freed from the chains that held me in Amsterdam and I would take as many of the girls as I could with me.

  Eight

  Valentina

  I kept pressure on my cut. The napkin I held against it felt wet and warm and I wondered how the hell it was possible that something like this could have happened. It should have been easy; get in, find the American, and get out. Now I wouldn’t be able to work for Smith because he knew and I wouldn’t be able to work for Kerstan because he knew as well.

  I sat back against the lush leather seat in Kerstan’s car as he yelled at his driver to go as quickly as he could. He sat with me in the back and pulled the napkin away again.

  “Does it hurt?” he asked me.

  “Niet,” I replied, slightly shaking my head.

  “Liar,” he said with soft chuckle as he pressed the napkin back against the side of my face. He sighed and ran his hand back through his hair, “Why didn’t you listen to me when I told you not to go? Did you really think I was going to leave her there?”

  I rolled my eyes, slid away from him, and glanced out the window. “This is not about you and what you want. This is what I have to do for myself. I chose to help the American because I heard rumors about a House Master falling for one of his girls and I knew it was you. Who else would it be? You forget that I was one of your first workers, Kerstan. I know how soft you can be even though you portray yourself as something completely different. Have you really become this cruel, this hard?”

  Kerstan sighed.

  “I am whatever is required of me to keep my business intact and unchallenged. I was going to stop a couple of years ago, but then Luuk, he approached me with a business offer I couldn’t refuse. In return for helping him set up his own House and getting revenge on a whore that tore his family apart, I was to get an even split of the money his girls made for him. How could I say no?”

  “And the American? How do you feel about her?” I asked with a grimace. I hoped this conversation would be over soon, as I was starting to feel dizzy.

  “I feel nothing about her,” he shot back, giving me a stern look.

  I smiled at him, a knowing smile that told him I knew better, before I leaned my head back against the seat and closed my eyes. It took another ten minutes for the feeling of nausea and dizziness to go away, but that was better than not going away ever.

  I felt strong hands wrap around me moments later, and opened my eyes. I was tired and I’m sure it was due to the loss of blood, but as I looked groggily into Kerstan’s face, I knew I would be somewhat safe for now. He reached into the car and pulled me up into his arms, cradled me against his chest, and used his foot to close the door as he walked toward the main doors.

  As soon as he walked through the doors, there were gasps and whispers. He bellowed for any of the grandmothers and as they approached, he began speaking to them rapidly in Dutch. He told them that I was to be taken care of hand and foot on a twenty four basis. He told them to call a doctor who would come and glue my wound so that it wouldn’t scar as terribly as it would with stitches.

  In a matter of him being done giving them directions, he set me on my feet and one of the elderly women took me away to my own private room on the floor. One I imagined had once belonged to the American at some point.

  I sighed as the grandmother laid me down on one of the two beds and told me she would be back with clothes and a warm blanket for me. I closed my eyes again, but reopened them moments later when I felt like I was being watched.

  “Did you see her?”

  I turned slightly on my side to get a better look at the girl with the angelic face, drawn tightly together in old anger and desperation. She had long brown hair, big brown eyes, and kept her arms crossed tightly across her chest. Her accent was not of Dutch descent, but I couldn’t figure out where she was from.

  “Amity? Did you see her?” she asked again, taking a few tentative steps toward the bed.

  I didn’t answer. Not for any reason other than I didn’t know if I could trust her. Instead, I pulled the napkin away from my cut, opened and refolded it, and pressed the cleaner side down.

  “Do you speak English? Do you understand or speak German. I don’t speak Dutch. I understand some of it. Amity? Lieve?” she asked desperately close to tears.

  “Are you a friend?” I finally inquired.

  “Yes. My name here is Betje, but my real name is Wendeline. Is she okay? Is she alive?”

  “She’s alive,” I confirmed, not wanting to say much else about how mentally broken Amity seemed to be.

  “Thank God,” the little German said, sitting on the bed next to me. “I miss her so much.”

  I watched her wring her hands as she looked at me. It seemed as if though she wanted to ask me more questions, but wasn’t sure if she should.

  “Out,” Kerstan said entering the room. He walked over to Betje and affectionately put a hand on her shoulder. “She needs rest. You and I will talk in a moment. Wait for me in the hallway.”

  The German girl got to her feet and stared at me for a moment, before she turned her eyes to Kerstan, nodded, and left the room.

  “That’s her best friend,” he explained as he sat down where Betje was. “I hadn’t been very kind to her and Lieve tried to protect her from me. I wasn’t happy about it so I had some things done to her while Lieve watched then I sent her to Luuk.”

  “I’m not a priest,” I replied in a labored voice. The numbness was starting to go away and the pain was starting to creep up on me.

  “I’m aware,” he said with a wry smile. “But I think that you should be aware of how I’ve ... evolved as a House Master since you’ve been gone. It’ll help both of us; me if you let me talk about it and you, if you listen.”

  I rolled onto my other side so my back would be to him. It hurt like hell since that’s the side my cut was on, but not only did I not have time for stories I had no want for them either.

  He scoffed as he the bed creaked, signaling him getting to his feet.

  “Eventually you’ll have to listen. The doctor is on his way. Stay in this room until you feel better.”

 
; I heard his footsteps retreating as he left the room, following by the door closing.

  With my eyes closed, I sighed again. I hadn’t even come close to saving the American and now Luuk knew the real reason I had come to his house.

  I can’t save her yet. I haven’t even saved myself.

  Nine

  Famke

  The screams were starting to haunt me. Ever since the Dutch girl had left with Kerstan, Amity had been wailing. It scared me because I didn’t know what was wrong or what had been happening to her to cause it.

  Luuk had locked her back into the main dining room once they had left and warned us that if we let her out or went near the door, we’d be found floating in the Amstel river. He said no one would care about a discarded whore and everyone believed him.

  Everyone but me.

  In the moment that Kerstan had spared my life, I learned that not all House Masters were bastards like Luuk. It made my fear of him and my want to be free clash together with my quest for freedom being the winner.

  I wanted to help her, but not the way Kerstan’s girl wanted to help her. I wanted to set her free, truly free, to stop the pain and anguish she had suffered in her short life. Not because I hated her, but because I could see myself in her and I didn’t know if I would be able to sustain myself much longer if she was around.

  Amity would be dead, I’d be in jail for the crime and we would both be away from Luuk. It was the perfect plan, I only had to figure out how to execute it.

  I took a deep breath as I left my room. The other girls were asleep somehow and the halls were empty. I walked quickly to the dining room and almost stopped short when I saw the door was slightly ajar.

  I looked down at my bare feet for a moment wondering how I close I could get before I was noticed. I pushed the fear of being caught out of my mind and walked toward the door again when she let out a howl.

  The closer I got the more my body started to shake. The howling, the wailing; something was obviously very wrong. I walked up to the door and I pressed my face against the opening, as the dim light illuminated a small portion of the room. It took my eyes a full sweeps of the room to find her and when I did, my hand flew to my mouth.